Archive for May, 2011


I heard this song on the radio the other day and thought it was pretty catchy.  Imagine my surprise when I found out that Leonard Nimoy was in the video, the entire video.  Way to go Bruno!!!

Advertisements

I am no expert on relationship advice or personal growth.  I have been married for going on 13 years and in that time I have learned a few things about living a nerds life and having to deal with a wife.  For most people what I’ve got to say is simple common sense.  But when you’re young and just starting out, sometimes common sense eludes you in ways you never imagined.

Let me first get this out of the way and say that I love my wife.  If I didn’t say that up front, you might start to have doubts.  My wife is not a nerd like me.  She isn’t into computers or video games.  Besides vampires she isn’t interested in fantasy or sci-fi.  She not a gadget whore unless you count shoes as gadgets.  She doesn’t read comic books and before she heard that Ryan Reynolds was in the movie, she never knew what a Green Lantern was.  I will give her credit for watching and liking Firefly and Battlestar Galactica; but I think it was more for the “hot guys” than anything else.  Over the years she has learned the names of the Star Trek captains and can identify exactly which Trek series I might happen to be watching.

It wasn’t always like that however.  For a time there was a lot of friction between us due to the so called lifestyle that I led versus how she wanted things to be.  There were arguments and hurt feelings and to this day I can’t say that she completely understands how or why I am into the things that I am into.  Understanding and understanding are too different things as funny as that sounds.  She resented the fact that I liked to stay up late playing video games nearly every weekend.  She thought comic books were a waste of money and most of the TV shows and movies I liked were stupid.  That led to some resentment on my part toward her.

So what changed?  That is a really good question because I don’t think I can really tell you that I know for sure.  After 13 years of marriage I guess we both grew as people.  Priorities change over that many years and I guess you could say that we learned some mutual respect for one another.  Keep in mind that although I am painting us as complete opposites, it isn’t entirely true.  We enjoy a lot of the same things and we love to do things together.  We aren’t the type of couple that are always together.  We both enjoy our space and don’t feel the need to constantly be together.  She has her friends that she does things with and so do I.

There was a time when my wife was unwavering in her opinions on things.  She could not or would not accept certain things and that led to a lot of friction between us.  I too had very strong opinions, but I always felt that I was more open minded to things than her.  She is a very serious, very organized woman while I am more whimsical and childish.  She worries about little things and I don’t worry about anything usually.  She isn’t quick tempered at all and I have an outrageous temper.  Now that I sit here and type it all out, I realize it’s a miracle that we’re even still together based on all our differences.

Once we got out of the “honeymoon” phase of our marriage is when the friction began.  I am sure that happens to every married couple.  Neither of us were perfect and the problems that surfaced were a mixture of both of us.  One thing that I can say to anyone about marriage is that it takes two to make it and it takes two to break it.  As corny as it sounds it’s the one thing I have found to be 100% true when it comes to marriage.  We had our low point about five years ago and it seemed that things were broken so bad that it was irreparable.  At that point we sat down and talked and we laid it all out on the table.  We had two options, divorce or stay together.  The one thing that was probably the key to our relationship at that point is that we still loved each other.  After over five years of marriage we weren’t willing to give up and we agreed to fight for our marriage.  That was truly the turning point in our relationship.

From that time on we both changed quite a bit and that’s where the advice portion of this begins.  If you happen to be in a similar situation let me tell you that you can make it through.  Young couples are blind and ignorant of the challenges they will face.  Few people realize how a tiny thing can blow up into a huge situation for your marriage.  So if one of you lives the nerd life and the other doesn’t it can often seem like you’re from two different worlds.  I’ll go back to what I said before, understanding goes a long way.  You don’t always have to completely understand how or why your spouse does what they do.  What you do have to understand is that that is how they are.  You can either accept it or you can continue to fight over it.  Which is more preferable to you?

Sacrifice is the name of the game in a situation like mine.  We both make sacrifices for each other.  Compromise is another term you are going to have to come to grips with.  You aren’t always going to get your way so get over yourself.  If you suddenly realize one day that you’re getting your way almost all of the time, then something is wrong and you better go talk to your spouse.  If you find things are a little one sided it might be a sign that something is wrong and you better deal with it before it becomes an issue.  Over the years I have developed the ability to realize when I am screwing things up and I try to head them off before it becomes a problem.

Marriage is give and take all of the time and it isn’t always fun.  My wife will often times go with me to see movies that I want to see and I love her for that.  She doesn’t always enjoy them and quite often she isn’t really excited about it.  But she puts on a good front for me and deals with it.  In return I know that I will have to take her to a movie that she wants to see.  I’m not all that excited about, but I deal with it.  I will say that in all the years we’ve been together that she has only taken me to see two movies that I absolutely could not stomach.  That’s a pretty good track record over 13 years.

Nerds can live in peace and harmony with non-nerds, I am living proof.  It really isn’t as hard as it sounds but you have to want to do it.  Do you love your spouse enough to compromise?  If you say anything other than yes then you are in trouble.  No really, you better start rethinking some things or else you’re in for some major unpleasantness.  I have found that everything is tolerable if there is a balance.  You can’t always have it your way and neither can your spouse.  There are also times when neither of you get your way and you do what you have to do.

These lessons weren’t all hard ones to learn.  Some came by me just growing up and accepting the fact that life isn’t always about me and what I want.  To hear my mother talk, I was the most selfish, self centered child on Earth and perhaps I was.  She use to tell people that she couldn’t see me ever getting married because I didn’t like to share.  Well guess what Mom, I’m married now and doing pretty good.

I guess a lot of it came from age and maturity.  A lot came from the fact that I love my wife and I wanted her to stick around a while.  Yes I can still be selfish sometimes and so can she.  There is a time and a place for all of that and it is wise to know when that is.  You have to respect each other and deal with each other lovingly or else the problems just keep getting worse.  Compromise, compromise, compromise.  You have to get use to that or you’re going to find yourself very unhappy.  Don’t roll over and give up and don’t expect your significant other to do the same.  Marriage is a struggle; but it is one worth taking.

Like I said in the beginning, I am no expert on relationships.  This was meant more of a shout out to how great I think my wife is and hopefully when she reads this she will appreciate at least some of the things I’ve said.  This isn’t a road map for a perfect marriage.  Every couple is different and deal with things differently.  This is more of a guideline so to speak as to how I found balance with my non-nerd spouse.

Although I never give up hope for her to find her inner nerd, she has astonished me over the years.  She has embraced the iPod Touch and now really wants an iPhone.  She plays Angry Birds with the fervor of an experienced gamer.  She has even read a comic book recently and owns a comic book t-shirt.  The best part is that she just happens to have the same first and last name as a comic book character I like.  This may not make her a real nerd girl, but I will take what I can get.

One of my favorite characters on The Office is Pam, played by Jenna Fischer.  She’s so cute I just want to put her in my pocket and carry her around with me everywhere I go…but that would be creepy.  Anyway, she has a new movie coming out and it looks wonderful.  I know this isn’t all that geektastic, but I liked it and took it upon myself to share.  Enjoy!

Haven’t talked a lot about video games lately.  I’ve been too wrapped up in the summer movie explosion.  In case you haven’t been paying attention, there is this tiny little game called Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3.  It’s suppose to be good…I guess.  No really, just from the trailer which is hardly a true representation of actual game play, it looks like MW3 is going to ROCK!!!  Enjoy the trailer!

Don’t know much about Green Lantern?  Still want to see the movie?  Check out this latest trailer and you’ll learn all you need to know before the movie opens on June 17th. 

With principle filming on The Dark Knight Rises only a couple of days underway, I am a little surprised (pleasantly) to see the first official photos.  We finally get to see Tom Hardy as Bane.

 

Awwww…I miss Buffy The Vampire Slayer.  Makes me want to go home and start watching the series again on DVD.

I am addicted to Angry Birds.  It was the main reason I wanted an iPad.  Here is a YouTube video of the Angry Birds theme song performed by that weird couple that did those Hyundai car commercials at Christmas time.  Unknown to me that they are actually an indie music duo called Pomplamoose.

Wow, and I thought Transformers Prime and G.I. Joe Renegades looked retarded.  Even when I was a kid I thought Voltron bordered on being ridiculous.  This new series proves that as far as Voltron goes, nothing has changed.

A little more than a month away and the more I see of this, the more excited I get.  The movie looks amazing and if the finished product is half as cool as the trailers I’ve seen, we’re in for quite a treat.  I am not too keen on giving Ryan Reynolds green eyes when he is in uniform, it just doesn’t look right.  But if that is the only thing I can complain about, this movie is going to rock.

Enjoy the stills I’ve taken from the new trailer.  I tried to include as much of the new footage as I could.  We get to see the Yellow Lantern (Sinestro Corps) symbol and a couple of the Guardians.